Wednesday, November 14, 2012

A Fatigue syndrome entry~

Last Friday i attended Aina's my cousin engagement. Last week of the last week, my friend at PPSK got baby. Today Nabilah weds, then i got news another Namians friend is pregnant after 3 had preceded earlier (not to mention their names), next week get 2 wedding invitation, another month already get 2 invitation, and expecting more babies to come~

I only thought this after a day started with full of energy.. then deteriorated as it close to 2 am. Early morning do washing after 4 days traveled from KB-Kuantan-T'ganu and back to KB. At 10 went to shop Nabilah's wedding present.. a huge Cornell Oven.. (i'll claim a choc cake from u Nabilah!), go to Federal Optical to make new spect after losing the loved one. Noon, nak wrap hadiah Nabilah punya besar i burn lagi more calorie, then attended her reception meriah tak ingat.. She looked so beautiful kalah Siti Nurhaliza (definitely Siti Suhaili tak lawan).



Back from wedding, went to collect my new budget eyes, thank you Allah. I dah redha akan tragedi kehilangan spek lama. Tetiba Amy che din muncul depan rumah, ajak teman gi wedding Nabilah. Again, i attended Nabilah's big day and met severals SMKA Naim Lilbanat teachers. I was pacing slowly with Amy besides me, greeted our teachers.. They asked our occupation, I had no issue on that. But when they as about marriage.. they only ask Amy wether she's already taken. I wonder why didnt they ask me? even though i think better if they didnt.. Will you say that i'm jealous? Haha. Omo~

Evening, I followed Salwa and her husband to visit aunties, Che Ti & Che Yam. Sampai rumah dah maghrib. Around 8 i helped mama prepare dinner, Che Dah and her family were coming. My ikan kerapu that supposed to be masak 3 rasa, i had know idea why it turned "ikan kerapu entah apa rasa". 9pm- dish washing. 10pm, lipat kain 3 bakul.. then sit in front of My moms PC, checking email, send email to people i need to. Membebel di blog panjang-panjang, then baru i tertanya diri sendiri.. "why do i tell people about these????".. (dah lah banyak sangat kesalahan ayat, grammatical error tak kira lagi typo and bahasa campur Manglish yang merosakkan identiti... maafkan saya. Saya sendiri tak suka ini)

I'm just tired. I realized that i got many "hutang", a no-end-to-do-list.
Sometime i think i made wrong decisions,
sometimes i act stupid.
Many times i'm tired just like today more or less.
Many times i feel scared...

Sometimes i read an article but i dont understand at all
Sometimes i read a sentence but i feel like i understand a world
Many times i want to read but other works called
Many times i fell asleep without able to finish all

sometimes i feel like want to get rid of responsibility
but then i return with istighfar
to forget my place as a servent of Him is a BIG no-no!

I want to follow my friends, they seemed so successful
but i'm afraid that i'm not able to do so..
i walk slow, but time runs very fast.
But i want to keep moving, never wants to stop
do u know that i'm scared?
if only someone can tell me that
everything will be ok..
i think i'll be fine..

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